• Steven Pluto

xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017), xXx Doesn't Mark The Spot.


Vin Diesel returns as extreme athlete turned government agent XXX. Long believed to be dead, Cage is pulled back into action to retrieve a device called Pandora’s Box, which controls Earth’s satellites. To do so, Cage enlists a group of extreme cohorts, and creates his own team to go after the bad guys who stole the device.

If you love over the top action sequences, then XXX is the movie for you. Just make sure that you leave your brain at the door. The Return of Xander Cage is one of the worst movies in recent memory. There are so many “WTF” moments in this film that I’m still trying to recover.

The movie starts off horribly. Vin Diesel’s stunt double is clearly visible from the film’s first action sequence. What? Is it not 2017? Has Computer Generated Imagery not been invented? This just shouldn’t happen. Well, it doesn’t stop there folks, the inexplicable moments keep happening. I know, I know, it’s a movie but must we be subjected to an awful script and bad editing just because someone wants to cash in on Vin Diesel’s Fast and Furious popularity? I think not.

The amazing Donnie Yen plays Xing, a member of the XXX program. Yen has charisma, and can fight like nobody’s business, but again the horrible editing and story writing just takes that all away. At one point, Yen’s character is shot in the stomach, falls out of a plane, has him magically surviving and has him standing around ten minutes with the team, smiling and congratulating each other on a job well done. What???

Vin Diesel predicted his movie, The Last Witch Hunter was going to be THE next franchise and that bombed completely. Well, I say, give XXX two weeks and it will do the same.

Even with so many amazing actors in this film, such as Ruby Rose, Tony Jay and Donnie Yen, their craft is wasted because of the poor film making and storyline. Vin, just because you’re in a movie, doesn’t mean it’s a good movie. I hope you smarten up with the next installment of Riddick.

If you really want to see this installment of XXX, wait for Netflix.


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